August 2012
Watchoraphis:
Oraphis: Pretended to die to see how my dog would react.
July 2012
styleswhore:
willow smith is 10 and she’s worth $4 million
i’m fifteen and i’m worth a piece of confetti at the olympics
Radio: I threw a wish in the well. Don't ask me, I'll never tell. I looked to you as it fell, and now you're in my way.
Me: No.
Radio: I'd trade my soul for a wish. Pennies and dimes for a kiss. I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way.
Me: Shhh.
Radio: Your stare was holdin'. Ripped jeans, skin was showin'.
Me: ...
Radio: Hot night, wind was blowin'.
Me: WHERE YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING BABY.
Call me maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me:
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
promo4homo:
seductive-black-man:
okay i searched ‘canoeing outfit’ for something i was writing and i
it looks like he’s rowing out of a vagina
withmymelancholyblues:
mylifesarumor:
scipioaemilianus:
liamoflegends:
shaving23spiders:
wvnderbar:
in the catholic ghetto, born and raised
at the playground is where I bullied most of the gays
relaxin chillaxin communion all cool
oppressing some minorities outside the school
when a couple of gays believed that they could
believed they could get married in my neighborhood
...
roleykatsu:
libyian:
wtf tumblr is so sassy like
I don’t need your attitude, tumblr.
Why is that close button huge are you running Windows 7 Fisher Price edition
Watch
me: I have a headache
family: WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T SIT IN FRONT OF THAT COMPUTER ALL THE TIME YOU--
me: *leaves*
hanakatsumi:
foxnewsofficial:
i hope they use comic sans on your gravestone
kissyourneck-slitmythroat:
my 2 year old brother has discovered what his penis is and he keeps taking it out of his diaper and playing with it and today he like FIRE HOSE PEED EVERYWHERE AND NOW HE WONT STOP TAKING IT OUT AND WE WENT TO WASH HIS HANDS AND HE GOT IT OUT AND PEED ON MY OTHER BROTHER AND SAID HE WAS THE PENIS POLICE AND MY STEPMOM SCREAMED AND SAID THAT HE HAS LOST HIS PENIS BADGE...
intense-intents-in-tents:
...
Guys. Britain did it. They set fire to the rain.
julytwentyturd:
sherbertsheperton:
Great Britain
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
Statistically, 1 in 20 of us live nextdoor to a...
bimbo-faggins:
the first day of school and teachers make you do that get to know each other thing
Watchthe-girl-in-the-drawing:
littlehuntedprincess:
sherlocked-inside-the-tardis:
brivonnet:
What happens when a tree branch falls onto a powerline?
Answer: Dramatic Annihilation
Only 17 seconds long - stick to the end.
Submitted by: nonniebyrd
“No,” the wire whispered. “You can’t—you’ll burn—”
The branch smiled sadly, looking up at the tree that had protected her for so many years. But,...
tiedye11:
chinchillaghosts:
wivernryder:
chinchillaghosts:
heyfunnie:
why is bob short for robert
how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’?
How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?
you ask him nicely
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Watchflickandswish:
billy-hill:
beekel:
Fifty Shades of Grey narrated by Gilbert Gottfried
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.
i am crying i am literally crying i am laughing so hard that there are tears trickling from my eyes oh my god
perfect, perfect, perfect
how to draw
ghastly-juju:
1. get out paper and a pencil
2. cry in a corner
